Preston Sturges said that the night Isadora Duncan’s charms stopped working to seduce and beguile men was the night that the scarf took her. He said she let it take her.
Tonight I over heard a young man at a dance I was attending say of his dance partners “I had these two old biddies.” If there is a chink in my armor, I guess it’s that. Still shopping for men at 54 gets old. Yoga, seven minute workout, face creams and I can’t complain. Assume there’s 40 years ahead to complain. But still, we know how things used to be. It’s odd to be in a body that wasn’t designed to be maintained so long. Much less remain attractive to the opposite sex so long. Genetically speaking.
My mind travels to the MFA program I am starting in January. Is it a strong enough future to put back together my waning self-esteem? Sometimes. Maybe I’ll teach. Teachers get laid. Writing teachers are cool, and expected to be in their 50s and 60s and excentric. If it works out. I write well. Maybe I’ll get laid. Get loved. Is that why I’m doing it? To avoid the scarf?